Monday, November 07, 2005


The winds of change smell like poop

Ah, the AMA Pro Racing off-season -- as much a relief as anything else, these days. I've been purposely laying low as the obligatory rule changes, rider swapping, factory antics, and schedule mutations collectively hammer nail after nail into Superbike's teetering coffin, edging it ever closer to its seemingly unavoidable plunge into the dark chasm of fan apathy.

But alas, the time has come for me to offer my predictably cynical take on all this nonsense, adhering closely to the dejected blogger's manifesto. Here goes:

Move along, Mr. Mladin.
Okay Mat, you've won six AMA Superbike championships in the last seven years. Mission accomplished. Congratulations. Yes, you are a total badass. Now have a little respect for both yourself and the AMA series, and move along. You now need to take your talents to either World Superbike or MotoGP and engage in the traditional cycle of progression that is expected of every champion rider. You're starting to look like the school bully who's been held back in 6th grade for 4 or 5 years. Sure, you can beat up every other kid in your class, but it just isn't impressive anymore. In fact, it's a downright predictable bore. Do us all a favor and graduate yourself to the next level. After all, it'd be fun to see if you can hang with the big dogs.

Hey, AMA! Newsflash: You only need two premier roadracing classes!
Want to race liter bikes? Cool. Your class should be AMA Superbike. Want to race 600s? That's cool, too. Your class should be AMA Supersport. 'F' Formula Xtreme. 'F' Superstock. Feel me? Let's get all the factory and satellite teams actually competing with each other again. And for the love of all that is good and true in this world, redeem the Daytona 200 by getting FX bikes the hell out of it. I've never done illicit drugs before, but watching last year's 200 had to be the equivalent of being on a bad acid trip. While looking for a lost contact lense. In a funhouse.

Eric Bostrom, what in the hell are you doing?
I fail to see how extracting yourself from Superbike is a good career move. Hell, you could've stayed with Kawasaki and saved yourself two years of anguish if all you intended to do was race a Superstock bike. Honestly bro, I still love you and everything, but this is no way to do business. It's time to fire your management company and align yourself with an organization that can help you achieve your goal -- which, in case you've forgotten, is to win a Superbike title.

Utah? Errr, okay.
When I first heard that the series was going to Utah in 2006, I was as puzzled as I've ever been. Do the mormons even allow motorcycles up there? Furthermore, isn't the population of the state, like, seven? Someone fill me in, here. I mean, I admit my obvious bias, but Texas is where the AMA should've come to replace its stop at the soon-to-be-demolished PPIR. But hey, Utah, whatever.

And speaking of the PPIR travesty...
You can thank the corporate vampires associated with NASCAR for blackballing, dismantling, and otherwise liquidating a perfectly good racetrack solely to eliminate it as competition for the great, undead beast that is American stock car racing. Now, little rednecks, repeat after me: "NASCAR is good. NASCAR is my friend. NASCAR cares about motorsport." Now get to Wal-Mart and consume their cheap, Chinese goods without any thought for the cummunist-fed monopolies you're supporting.


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